Saturday, January 31, 2009

Looking Back

James E. Bowling


Husband, Father,Grandfather,Brother, Uncle and Loved Friend,

Jim died on January 16th 2009 after a lengthy illness.Jim is survived by his wife Pat, who was his faithful companion for over 48 years of marriage, his son James Edwin, daughter Sandra fay Lujan,
grandchildren Brandon, Derrick, Darah and Zachary
Sisters; Christine,Joan, Gail, Ruby and Brother Rex.
Jim was preceded in death by his grandson, Devon.
Jim was a hardworking good hearted man who loved his family and was a dedicated and loyal servant of God.
Jim or Jimmy, as he loved to be called because it made him feel young, was proud of his humble beginnings as a country boy raised on a farm in Kentucky.
Jim will be forever remembered for the many humorous stories he told and funny anecdotes.
We will always love and remember him and look forward to the day we see him again in Paradise.
As many of you know already My father passed away a few weeks ago.
I wanted to go and see him one last time while he remembered me to tell him I love him.
His Dementia, Parkinson's and Diabetes getting worse by the day.
I arrived on Wednesday evening in Los Angeles about 9 pm and went straight to the hospital to see him.
To my delight He remembered me!!!
I wasn't sure if he would, I was so happy!
He was very weak but seemed pretty stable at that point.
My brother and I were with him....when the paramedics came in to move him back to the convelesant hospital my father thought they were policeman taking him to jail.

He got very upset and didn't know why they were doing this to him.
That broke my heart and I left the room in tears.
The dementia had his mind very confused, he didn't no what was happening to him.
My brother asked if he could ride in the ambulance with him to be with him.
Thankfully they said yes!
The ride went smooth and my father settled in that evening.

Friday came and my mother and I were with him,
He was very agitated and thought he was working under a semi truck.
He kept trying to get out of bed saying he had to get up and go home.
We had to fight to keep him in bed. We were surprised at the strength
he showed after being so weak the day before.
He didn't realize he was in the hospital. He thought he was at work and wanted to go home.
after several hours of this battle, my mother sat with him stroking his hair trying to get him to relax.
It seemed to work he started to fall asleep.
As we were walking down the hall to leave we heard the alarm go off and saw the nurses go running to his room.
They had an alarm on him if he tried to get out of bed it would go off so they would know and could stop him,, He had no strength to support himself and he would fall.

Anyway, we heard the alarm but we just kept going because at that point we knew there was nothing else we could do to try and keep him in bed.

And we actually thought we might be making him more agitated struggling with him, we were thinking perhaps they could deal with it better as we were not having any luck.
Then about 45 minutes later we got a phone call saying that my father'sheart had stopped and they were taking him back to Hoag Hospital.
By the time we arrived it was too late, my father had passed away.
We were in disbelief......
it happened so quickly!!!!!!

We were actually thinking he was going to maybe recover we saw such a change in him.

But They said he had a massive heart attack.
I am trying to think that this is probably the best thing in the long run.
His quality of life was non existent, being bed ridden, not able to get up,
not knowing where he was at times, being in pain all the time.
Its hard to think of death as a blessing but I suppose in times like this it is.
He is no longer suffering, He is in peace.

The hard part of course is now for us and especially for my mother.They have been together since she was 14 years old.

She has really been his caregiver over these past few years and it hasreally taken its toll on her.
My worry now is for her.
Thank you for taking the time to listen to my story

I know its not the most upbeat post but I really appreciate so much all the emails you have sent me with your care and concern I just felt the need to let you know what happened during these past weeks.

I also want to share with you a few photos from the trip and of course end with some funny pugsie pictures to leave you with a smile, so please indulge me a bit longer.....

This was me and my father years and years ago..... (we wont say how many years ago!!!!)
I think he kinda looks James Deanish.....
In some ways I was closer to my father than my mother,
What I mean is I was more like him, we thought alike so I understood him and understood where he was coming from and why he did what he did at times,
I usually was the one who came to his defense when mom and dad had their arguments as all parents do.
Though mom was really more my friend and mothers and daughters just have a bond in ways a father and daughter dont but I just understood him so that made me feel close to him.
I remember this picture below like it was yesterday.
I remember the day and it being took, I remember looking at my mom and thinking how beautiful she was and that I had the prettiest mom in the world.
And of course that's my bro glasses and all.
remember the urckle post a while ago. well here is one more to embarrass him!!! sorry Ed!

But wait let me show one more embarrassing picture of Ed!!!!!!
this one of him crying on this FAKE HORSE!!

My brother bless his heart was always crying when we were growing up!
I was always the good child....hee hee......

This is a picture of some of my fathers sisters who flew in from
Kentucky to attend the funeral.
My mother is standing in the back with the green shirt.

This is my nephew Derrick who is in the Army,
They allowed him leave to attend the funeral.
It was a complete surprise, we didn't think he was coming, but
my brother surprised us and just walked in with him!
It was a great moment!

The picture below is of Roxanne on the right and on the left one of my childhood best friends growing up together.
Her name is Kristin and she was my next door neighbor.
Our lives have taken different directions she still lives on the West Coast and I on the East but its nice to know and see friends when you need them. She came to the funeral and over to my mothers after the service.
The picture below is of Kristin and I at one of our home coming dances.
We both had dates but we wanted to have pictures taken together.
Notice our dresses, they are both vintage wedding dresses that we wore.
We were quite different from most of the girls in school at that time.
This was in the year 1979-1980 and the disco era and polyester was strong, but we wore vintage dresses.
Even at that time my love for vintage was developing.

This is a picture of my mom her mother (who is sitting down) she is 78
and 2 of my moms sisters and one of her brothers and of course me.
My mom is so tiny and frail, I'm so worried about her......

I'm sure you recognize my aunt and Niece Whitney, This is a day we had lunch together...

And of course me and my big brother Ed....

He is such a sweetie and I love him to death even though I tease him!!!

This is my other niece Darah, she is my brothers daughter. She just got engaged!

And now since you've been so patient and listen to my story and looked at my pictures I will reward you with some pug pictures!!!
I want to leave you with a smile,

In the picture below Pugsie got upset with us when we told him he was starting to resemble Jaba the Hut!!!!!

But you have to admit its true!!!

and the truth hurts!!!!!

One last photo is of him sleeping........

Notice his tongue folded underneath his chin!!!!!
That tounge is tooo much!!!

So I will close with this picture of the pug!
I think its all been said for now!
Thank you again for your emails and comments of care and concern!
sweet dreams!


Connie said...

Sandy, I'm very sorry to hear about your dad. I'm sure you're still in shock and grieving. Just remember that someone in Idaho feels the sadness you're feeling, chickee. Very very sorry at this time in your life, honey.

Anonymous said...

I found your blog while you were gone. I am so sorry for your loss. I have a pug and love your pug and blog.

Anonymous said...

Hi Sandy,
Sorry again about the passing of your father. I love the picture of him holding you & the one of you & your friend in your prom (vintage wedding) dresses. I am glad you made it there in time to see your father one more time. My mom die a few hours after I arrived from out of town to see her so I never got to talk to her but the doc said she knew I was there & had waited for her last child to arrive. Take care & heal your heart with all of the wonderful memories of your Dad & you. You favor your mother, grandmother, & aunts on your mothers side very much.

Heather ~Pretty Petals said...

Sandy I am so sorry to hear that you lost your father... what a beautiful touching post. WIshing you and your family, especially your Mom comfort in knowing he is in heaven and you will see him again one day.

YOu have a beautiful family!

xoxo Heather

Lisa said...

I'm sorry to hear of the passing of your father. My dad passed away last September and it's still hard to believe he is gone. I'll pray for you and your family. Allow your mom this time to grieve and just be there when she needs you and needs to talk. We will pray for her to have the strength to carry on.

SherryRoseBella said...

My Sweet Sandy...this post is beautiful and a wonderful tribute to your Dad. The pictures are all great, especially the one of you and your Dad when you were a baby & the family portrait. Stay strong for your Mom & remember always that your Dad is in a much better place now and in no pain. Let me know if there is anything I can do.
Love & hugs,

Berlin Deluxxe said...

I loved the picture of your daddy and you, it's so sweet. Two weeks ago I lost my four month goddaughter. My soul aches....

My heart is with you.

Anonymous said...

Hello Chica Dee,
what a wonderful way to remember and honer you dad!!! I love all the pix's on the bolg but that pugsie of yours is a and like always it's a pleasure to visit your wonderful web site, and get a good laugh out of that pugsie of yours, my your dad rest in peace :)

The Rose Room said...

Sandy, I have tears in my eyes for you and your family! I have watched my grandmother and my step-father die in the last two years, both had dementia and other health complications. While it is a blessing that they are released from such a poor quality of life it is still so very shocking for those of us left behind. I hope you little Mum surprises you with inner strength. Take Care, blessings Rachaelxo

Cottage said...

I am so glad your dear father recognized you, such a blessing, And that you had time with him.
Sending hugs to you and your mom...and Pugsie. :)

Anonymous said...

Beautiful Belle Sandy,
We Love you all,
God loves you all dearly, thankful many family members were with your father + mother.
Heartfelt Prayers and
Love Forever,
diana + brandon

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your loss and cannot imagine the pain your family is going through. Thinking of your mother being with him since she was 14 is such a testament of love to me. I will definitely keep her, you and your entire family in my prayers!
Thank you for sharing your family with us here and allowing us a little piece of your father's legacy. What a beautiful family you have ;) and Pugsie is adorable as ever!

Sharon's Cottage Quilts said...

Sandy, sending prayers for your family, for your mom to be rested and rejuvinated, and comforted in her grief. My thoughts are with you friend.
P.S. I can just see your pops up in heaven, dancing around, free of illness-and feeling good!

jillian said...

So sorry for your loss. I just love the first photo of you and your dad. Just so sweet. What a lovely tribute.
p.s. Could Pugsie be any cuter?!!

pinkkandy said...

This was a beautiful tribute to your Father and your Mom as was lovely to see all the pictures of family and friends...even though I don't know you these are the kind of posts that let know one another and show how you are all alike...loving our families...missing our friends..teasing our brothers...missing our parents when they leave us.God bless you and keep you.

Debby at Romancing The Bling said...

Sandy...let me extend my condolences to you and your family over the passing of your father. Thank you for sharing your words and photo's.
I've always enjoyed visiting your blog and I just can't get enough of your pug! He is terrrific! Always brings a smile to my face.

Take care,
Romancing the Bling

Anonymous said...

So sorry for your loss.... I too lost my Dad not long ago. They say it will get easier. I am waiting....
Love, Marilyn

shabbydreaming said...

sweetie, my heart is heavy for you and your family, sending you loads of gentle blessings and prayers.
thinking of you all
mans (yep new bog)

Secondhandrose said...

I don't know you but I had to keep reading as you wrote such a nice tribute. Peace to you.

sandra said...

I was just coming over to your blog to check on you. I'm so sorry to hear about your times like this, there are just no words. I'm so glad you got there to be with him, and that he recognized least you will always have that memory.
I'm praying for you and especially for you mom, that God will bless her with peace and comfort.
Missed you while you were gone..glad you're back.

Christine said...

Sandy, I'm so sorry about your daddy. It doesn't matter how old we are when they leave us, the pain is the same. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. And thanks for the Puggy pics. I love that pooch.


Diana at Chloe's Chic Boutique said...

I'm so very sorry to hear about your loss. I pray the Lord will bring you and your sweet mom comfort during this very difficult time.


Sandra~Romantique Inspirations~ said...

Dear Sandy, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad. I'm praying to God for strengh for you and your mom to get thru this and to help with your pain. How precious those photos of your dad and family. Great looking family!! Sandy, I wish I was there to give you a big tight hug! You can also give your darling pug a hug from me too. God Bless You.

twinkleshabbystar said...

Im terribly sorry to hear of your father's passing.This was a beautiful post in loving memory of your Father. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers! Love the last photos of your pug! Gave me such a smile! :) With love and thoughts, XOXO Jenn

Lori said...

Sandy, May you find some comfort in knowing how much we love and care about you. The loss of a parent is so hard, mine are both gone. Savor each and every memory and photo, they are all wonderful. yep, Dad sure had the Dean look didn't he? Take care sweetheart, were all here for you. Thank you for sharing Dad's time with us, Love,Lori

Anonymous said...

I wish and pray for you nothing but comfort and joyful thought in your memories of your father.

Kim's Cottage said...

I'm so sorry about your dad. My heart goes out to you. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Please tell your nephew I say THANK YOU for your service.


jellybelly*jellybrain said...

Dementia is such a cruel illness.
I'm sorry for your news and hope that you and your family find strength and peace.

Bellamere Cottage said...

I'm so sorry to read of your dad's passing. I lost my sweet Mum the day after Christmas and am still trying to deal with that's tough. I'm sending you loads and loads of comfort.

I so enjoyed peeking around your lovely home! I, too, am of the belief that spare is bland! Too much is never enough... :-) As I was scrolling on down I realized I've been to this fun place before. I remember laughing out loud at the picture of your pup sitting at the table. That's just too funny!

Warm blessings,

shabbydreaming said...

Hey Sweetie, just poping by to say Hi and thinking about ya!!

Karen ~ Cider Antiques said...

Hello Sandy, so sorry to hear about your Dad's passing.

Yes, your dad was certainly dapper in his youth. A very handsome man.

Sending warm thoughts and best wishes your way. May the love of family and friends give you comfort and joy. Karen xoxoxo

Siobhan said...

Hi Sandy, I am very sorry for your loss and heartache at this hard time in your life. Just know I am thinking of you and your whole family. Regards, Siobhan

Stephenie said...

Sorry to read about your father. Your post was so touching. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

shabbydreaming said...

Hey Sweetie, just poping by again to let you know I'm thinking about ya!! please blog again soon we miss you deeply!!

Rose Petals & Blooms said...

Oh Sandy, my heart is heavy as I read this post... I'm so sorry for your loss. Please accept my apologizes for not commenting sooner, I must confess I've been absent from blog world for quite sometime. But have vowed to change my laxadaisical ways in 2009
It pains me that I've let so much time go by before visiting your blog. I've lost touch with you, which is inexcusable. I've always looked forward to stopping by, your photos have always make my heart smile...

The photo of your father holding you is absolutely beautiful. I would give anything to have a photo such as yours. My father passed when I was ony 14 months old. But I imagine I would have the same adoring look as you did in yours. Your father was a wonderful man, your photos tell such a beautiful story...

Thank you for letting me visit, I vow to stop by on a regular basis from now on!

Big hugs to you,

Karen said...

I know that this is late, but I just found your blog. I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your father. Fathers are really hard to loose, mine has been gone 25 yrs and I miss him every day! We were like minded and even though he never said it I know he loved me. I hope that your year has been improving. Big Hugs,