Looking Back

James E. Bowling

8-23-41~1-16-09

Husband, Father,Grandfather,Brother, Uncle and Loved Friend,

Jim died on January 16th 2009 after a lengthy illness.Jim is survived by his wife Pat, who was his faithful companion for over 48 years of marriage, his son James Edwin, daughter Sandra fay Lujan,

grandchildren Brandon, Derrick, Darah and Zachary

Sisters; Christine,Joan, Gail, Ruby and Brother Rex.

Jim was preceded in death by his grandson, Devon.

Jim was a hardworking good hearted man who loved his family and was a dedicated and loyal servant of God.

Jim or Jimmy, as he loved to be called because it made him feel young, was proud of his humble beginnings as a country boy raised on a farm in Kentucky.

Jim will be forever remembered for the many humorous stories he told and funny anecdotes.

We will always love and remember him and look forward to the day we see him again in Paradise.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As many of you know already My father passed away a few weeks ago.

I wanted to go and see him one last time while he remembered me to tell him I love him.

His Dementia, Parkinson's and Diabetes getting worse by the day.

I arrived on Wednesday evening in Los Angeles about 9 pm and went straight to the hospital to see him.

To my delight He remembered me!!!

I wasn't sure if he would, I was so happy!

He was very weak but seemed pretty stable at that point.

My brother and I were with him....when the paramedics came in to move him back to the convelesant hospital my father thought they were policeman taking him to jail.

He got very upset and didn't know why they were doing this to him.

That broke my heart and I left the room in tears.

The dementia had his mind very confused, he didn't no what was happening to him.

My brother asked if he could ride in the ambulance with him to be with him.

Thankfully they said yes!

The ride went smooth and my father settled in that evening.

Friday came and my mother and I were with him,

He was very agitated and thought he was working under a semi truck.

He kept trying to get out of bed saying he had to get up and go home.

We had to fight to keep him in bed. We were surprised at the strength

he showed after being so weak the day before.

He didn't realize he was in the hospital. He thought he was at work and wanted to go home.

after several hours of this battle, my mother sat with him stroking his hair trying to get him to relax.

It seemed to work he started to fall asleep.

As we were walking down the hall to leave we heard the alarm go off and saw the nurses go running to his room.

They had an alarm on him if he tried to get out of bed it would go off so they would know and could stop him,, He had no strength to support himself and he would fall.

Anyway, we heard the alarm but we just kept going because at that point we knew there was nothing else we could do to try and keep him in bed.

And we actually thought we might be making him more agitated struggling with him, we were thinking perhaps they could deal with it better as we were not having any luck.

Then about 45 minutes later we got a phone call saying that my father'sheart had stopped and they were taking him back to Hoag Hospital.

By the time we arrived it was too late, my father had passed away.

We were in disbelief......

it happened so quickly!!!!!!

We were actually thinking he was going to maybe recover we saw such a change in him.

But They said he had a massive heart attack.

I am trying to think that this is probably the best thing in the long run.

His quality of life was non existent, being bed ridden, not able to get up,

not knowing where he was at times, being in pain all the time.

Its hard to think of death as a blessing but I suppose in times like this it is.

He is no longer suffering, He is in peace.

The hard part of course is now for us and especially for my mother.They have been together since she was 14 years old.

She has really been his caregiver over these past few years and it hasreally taken its toll on her.

My worry now is for her.

Thank you for taking the time to listen to my story

I know its not the most upbeat post but I really appreciate so much all the emails you have sent me with your care and concern I just felt the need to let you know what happened during these past weeks.

I also want to share with you a few photos from the trip and of course end with some funny pugsie pictures to leave you with a smile, so please indulge me a bit longer.....

This was me and my father years and years ago..... (we wont say how many years ago!!!!)

I think he kinda looks James Deanish.....

In some ways I was closer to my father than my mother,

What I mean is I was more like him, we thought alike so I understood him and understood where he was coming from and why he did what he did at times,

I usually was the one who came to his defense when mom and dad had their arguments as all parents do.

Though mom was really more my friend and mothers and daughters just have a bond in ways a father and daughter dont but I just understood him so that made me feel close to him.

I remember this picture below like it was yesterday.
I remember the day and it being took, I remember looking at my mom and thinking how beautiful she was and that I had the prettiest mom in the world.
And of course that's my bro glasses and all.
remember the urckle post a while ago. well here is one more to embarrass him!!! sorry Ed!

But wait let me show one more embarrassing picture of Ed!!!!!!
this one of him crying on this FAKE HORSE!!

My brother bless his heart was always crying when we were growing up!
I was always the good child....hee hee......


This is a picture of some of my fathers sisters who flew in from
Kentucky to attend the funeral.
My mother is standing in the back with the green shirt.

This is my nephew Derrick who is in the Army,
They allowed him leave to attend the funeral.
It was a complete surprise, we didn't think he was coming, but
my brother surprised us and just walked in with him!
It was a great moment!


The picture below is of Roxanne on the right and on the left one of my childhood best friends growing up together.
Her name is Kristin and she was my next door neighbor.
Our lives have taken different directions she still lives on the West Coast and I on the East but its nice to know and see friends when you need them. She came to the funeral and over to my mothers after the service.
The picture below is of Kristin and I at one of our home coming dances.
We both had dates but we wanted to have pictures taken together.
Notice our dresses, they are both vintage wedding dresses that we wore.
We were quite different from most of the girls in school at that time.
This was in the year 1979-1980 and the disco era and polyester was strong, but we wore vintage dresses.
Even at that time my love for vintage was developing.

This is a picture of my mom her mother (who is sitting down) she is 78
and 2 of my moms sisters and one of her brothers and of course me.
My mom is so tiny and frail, I'm so worried about her......

I'm sure you recognize my aunt and Niece Whitney, This is a day we had lunch together...

And of course me and my big brother Ed....

He is such a sweetie and I love him to death even though I tease him!!!

This is my other niece Darah, she is my brothers daughter. She just got engaged!

And now since you've been so patient and listen to my story and looked at my pictures I will reward you with some pug pictures!!!

I want to leave you with a smile,

In the picture below Pugsie got upset with us when we told him he was starting to resemble Jaba the Hut!!!!!

But you have to admit its true!!!

and the truth hurts!!!!!

One last photo is of him sleeping........

Notice his tongue folded underneath his chin!!!!!

That tounge is tooo much!!!

So I will close with this picture of the pug!

I think its all been said for now!

Thank you again for your emails and comments of care and concern!

sweet dreams!

smiles,

Sandy